|
Part
Two
Click Here
for part one .......
Just outside the town, near the camel
market was a curry house, the belly dancer had introduced herself as
Fatima, I immediately noticed that her name was an anagram for I am fat!
Isn't that strange? but it's always the same in cowboy films isn't
it? the renegade Indian is always called Savage Claw and the
goodie one is White Feather......anyway my thoughts were interrupted by
the waiter with the menu. I ordered the chicken Tarka it's a bit like
Tikka but a little otter ( boom boom) Fatima ordered the Chicken curry
Napoleon ( everyone gets a bony part!)
We had a wonderful meal washed down
with fine Indian beer and at the end of the evening as we stood outside,
the stars were glistening in the sky, a warm desert breeze fluffed up
her hair. At that magical moment, Fatima offered her body to me, over
Fatima's shoulder I could see Rita glowering, so I turned the kind offer
down, it would have been like waving a pencil in the Albert hall anyway
The next morning I reported in to HMS Sheba at Steamer Point, the Jaunty
greeted me with a grin " Taff you stink! he yelled I walked though
to the back office to make us both a coffee, there's some mail for you!
said the Joss! Thank God for that! I hope it's my pay, but it's a chit
telling me I'm out of date for damage control! I'm in a desert for
farks sake! The second envelope is my latest mission, the melon
thieves would have to wait........
My next mission was to saddle up Rita and
head North to the border, it seems that a gang of drug runners were
smuggling sack loads of cannabis resin through the mountain passes using
mule trains . They would also rob and murder every hapless traveller
that they came upon. The locals feared and avoided them, they were known
as the ass bandits I hoped that was a reference to the mules
otherwise this would be a very interesting assignment
I went over to the stores to get my supplies, poor old Rita would be
loaded to the gunwhales It was the usual mundane stuff, rocket
propelled grenade launcher aaahhh every Crusher should have one!
sod that pulling the pin and throwing it Next was the good old
GPMG what a great leveller this little beauty was! As they packed and
loaded Rita for me, I stood in the doorway of the stores. A Wessex
five had been hovering in the same position for about fifteen minutes
about a hundred yards astern of HMS Albion I pointed it out to
Mick as he strolled by, Mick was an Irish pongo, Mick stood with
me for five minutes and then said " perhaps the heap o' shite has broken
down Taff" I hadn't thought of that.
Mick thought it was a good idea for me to get out of town for a week or
two. I knew what he was on about, a few nights ago I had been drinking
with a load of Pongo Irish Rangers, nissed as a pewt I dropped my
Lanchester, it hit the tiled floor and spun around like a catherine
wheel spewing bullets everywhere! I thought it was hysterical but
Pongo's and Bootnecks are very wierd when it comes to using weapons. You
know...... all that namby pamby crap, safety on ( I didn't even know
where the safety catch was!) I'm Royal Navy and they don't have them on
4.5 guns I shouted so I'm not ferking used to them!
Anyway muttering that the only things that they feared was an officer
with a map and a sailor with a gun, I was barred from the mess by the
Pres Years later I would find out that all those pongo's
hopping about to avoid the bullets that the Lanchester was spewing out,
formed the inspiration for Riverdance! Rita cast me a scowl as I
approached, she was staggering under the weight, I thought for a minute
about taking off the dozen crates of beer, but liquid is essential in
the desert Hopping up on board we trotted out of the gates and
headed out of town.
Bugger! bugger! bugger! six miles into
the journey I realize that I don't have a can opener these were the days
long before widgets and ring pulls. AAAAGGGH we'll just have to go back
I'm not spending weeks on obs without a beer Rita was not best
pleased, it was bloody midnight when we finally made camp. My lair gave
me a perfect view of the horizon and anyone passing on the trail would
come between me and the full moon It was quite romantic actually, the
Arabian desert can have it's charms, but Rita was still sulking and
after eating her late supper was more than a little flatulent. oh happy
days............
The days drifted into weeks then the sound of hushed voices woke me up
at four in the morning, it would be light soon, sure enough there was
the mule train, sixteen of them with four Arabs coaxing and driving them
along. time to put plan A into action, I silently awoke Rita and turned
her loose with a few whispers in her ear. She knew the score the wily
old dromedary she loped off in a circular trail and appeared limping in
front of the mule train The Arabs pointed excitedly camels
that are lame are eaten out here so they were being offered a
feast........If they could catch her
It worked a treat they stopped the mule train and two of them hurried
off to catch Rita but she always stayed a few yards ahead........ I
crept forward with my Lanchester ready for use, it was point blank range
with two rapid bursts I slotted the two Arabs who were holding the mules
The two that were chasing Rita stopped dead and looked in my direction,
Rita came thundering up and kicked and bit seven bells out of them
preventing them from taking aim with their rifles, a swift raking with
the machine gun and they were lying in pools of blood
Heeyyyy I was really getting the hang of this I hadn't hit Rita or
the mules that was a record for me! I unloaded the mules, tethered
them and went back to my scratcher, time to get some kip. After
breakfast I set fire to the cannabis it burnt really well, I should have
noted the wind direction though, because a small settlement that was
downwind copped all the smoke. When I went down there to sell the mules
they were stoned out of their brains, but that helped me to get a good
price Another mission successfully completed
|
